The Extended WFH

When the Hubster travels, I work from home (or “WFH” if you are stalking my work calendar). Someone has to get the Kid on and off the bus, which makes it hard to be downtown. So thanks to the incredible flexibility of Mid-Corp and the Boss Lady (that’s my new name for my manager—don’t worry, she likes it), I can work from home.

The problem is I go a little crazy when I work from home for more than a day or two in a row. I am on day five of an eight-day stint (that doesn’t count the two weekends in there). It was supposed to be only seven days, but we had a snowstorm last Friday so I (and thousands of others) opted to avoid downtown.

I don’t go crazy for lack of people. I like being by myself. I just get bored. I don’t have the lunch variety or the style variety or the people watching. Plus I don’t make time to read like I do on the bus. So to make myself feel better, here are all the things that make working from home nice: 

  1. I can have a real breakfast. Whether I want eggs or oatmeal or toast, I can walk the eight steps to the kitchen and make it.
  2. I can have the radio on and don’t have to wear headphones—even when I turn up real loud.
  3. I can wear whatever I want—although it is always jeans and a sweatshirt. And I skip makeup.
  4. I can do laundry and dishes whenever. In general, I just keep my house cleaner. I cleaned a bathroom over lunchtime yesterday. Not my favorite activity, but it’s better than doing it at night after the girls are in bed.
  5. I can let the Baby sleep in. She likes sleeping in and I feel bad waking her up at 6:45 a.m. when I go downtown.
  6. I can work outside. Our wireless works on our deck, so I worked outside for an hour or so yesterday (we had 70 degrees just five days after that last snowstorm) and I am going to do it again today. And when I am inside, I can have the window open. Or even just watch the squirrels and deer and birds.
  7. I remember to water my plants. They are happier when they are not facing drought conditions.
  8. I can fart and no one will hear or smell it.
  9. I get to rest my feet on the Dog. And rub her with my feet. And give her little pieces of cheese and turkey from my sandwiches. And yell at her to stop barking/snoring/licking during a conference call. And take her for a walk—in the middle of the day.
  10. I can spend more than 10 minutes with my kids in the morning and at night. They say awesome things and are so adorable. And with that extra time to soak in that cuteness, I don’t feel so guilty about putting them to bed early.

So I have three more work-from-home days to go … maybe four if the Hubster’s flight is late on Monday … and I am hoping to retain my sanity. If I do lose it, please make sure the Baby does “last chance potty” before going to bed and that the Kid has a snack in her backpack for school—because I will be trolling downtown looking for a cubicle to work from.

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All that sparkles …

Last night, I was brushing my teeth—like I do every night, this is not the interesting part of the story—and I had just found that sweet spot on the bottom right side about halfway back that always feels fantastic to brush. I took a look in the mirror to see if there was anything stuck in there and a sparkle above my right eye flashed at me.

“Oooh, what is that?” I think as I finish brushing that one spot that feels so good. I look up and it sparkles at me again; this time I see that it is in my eyebrow. Is it princess glitter? Was I kissed by a fairy? 


I was kicked in the face by my own advanced age. That sparkle … was a WHITE eyebrow hair. White! Not even grey! I have never plucked a hair so fast before in my life.

Now I am not going to pretend like I never get grey hairs. I do. I have them peppering at my temples and I get the occasional twangy, thick, scraggly witch hair that sticks up straight from the top of my head. But this was my eyebrow! My eyebrow!

I was already obsessed with my brows. Now I am freaking out that they are prematurely aging the rest of my face. That white one was normal eyebrow hair length. That means it was at least two weeks old. How many other people saw the light reflecting off that glint of oldness?

The one thing that I am holding onto as the silver lining to all this is that I found it before the Hubster did. He would have had a heyday with it.

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A boring post

It’s been a long time. No good reason. Just lazy and haven’t had a ton to say. So, from now on, for my one consistent reader, I promise to write more. But for now, here are the highlights from the last few months:

Girls: They keep getting bigger. (I know that is how it works—kids grow—but I don’t want to admit it.) The Kid is so tall and still she’s a string bean. Her Spanish speaking is coming right along and she can read it now, too. She is definitely smarter than us. And the Baby is totally not a baby anymore. She looks like the almost three-year-old she is and she is hilarious. She knows she’s funny and tries to play it up whenever she can. My favorite thing about the girls lately is that they get along so well (usually). They play together and comfort each other when I say “no, you can’t have a cookie or a sticker or a toy or candy or some other thing that moms always say no to.” I hope their great relationship lasts for always.

Hubster: He’s been travelling for work and non-work and has more coming up. And he fixed the caulking in the tub in the girls’ bathroom.

Me: Same ol’, same ol’. Job’s the same—still liking it for the most part. Like everyone else, I have good days and bad days. A serious good for me was that one of my good friends from Megacorp has come to work with me at Midcorp. So glad to have her here. Other interesting thing—my team has been consolidated with the other internal communications teams, so we are in the middle of a re-org. Not sure where I will end up, so there is a little excitement over that. My fingers are crossed for a good spot.

So, there’s my boring post for today. I will try to be more exciting next time.

(Seriously, that was stupid boring. But I should get back into the habit. It’s good to break out of corporate writing once in a while.)

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I know, I haven’t written anything in a long time. It’s been a combination of having too many things going on and just being lazy … or to sum up with the word I am making up right now: I’ve been busi-lax. So what has been going on? Well, let me do a family recap:

Kid: Started Spanish immersion kindergarten with some initial anxiety until the 4th day of school when they went to library and she could check out books. She has loved it ever since and is picking up quite a bit of Spanish. She started and finished her fall soccer league. She started Sunday school and swimming lessons. Since the hubster works primarily from home, she also loves not going to daycare after school, thus having a say in what is for dinner and helping him with random house projects, like fixing the step on the deck, putting together the Baby’s big girl bed and other such fun. The Hubster is reaping the benefits of spending a lot of time with her, too – like being the recipient of all her artwork and lots of hugs.

Baby: Is potty trained! I am officially saying it out loud. We decided a month and a half ago that we needed to just make the leap and start sending her to daycare in undies. And she is a champ. We are down to about only one accident a week and those seem to be because they don’t make it to the potty on time. She still wears a diaper at night, but we know we have no control over that and it will happen when it happens. We set up her big girl bed (it’s a yellow VW Bug-like car that was handed down to us when the Kid was ready to get out of the crib) and are trying to persuade her to at least take a nap in it. I pulled out the next sizes up for clothes (3T shirts and 2T pants) that the Kid wore and they fit her like a glove! I LOVE that the Halloween clothes are fitting so well at such a perfect time. She also started swim lessons and is a total sea monkey. Whichever parent is in the pool with her, has to keep her head out of the water since she loves going under so much.

Hubster: Travelled a couple times for work. Just yesterday, he got suckered into cleaning the tree debris from our side yard (which is literally a forest) by our well-meaning neighbor who has too much time on his hands (the same one who wears his robe to get his paper in the mornings). “I have this coupon for free debris recycling, let’s use my truck and do it NOW– on this moist, semi-rainy Thursday morning.” Hubster’s been crazy-ass busy at work, so this was a huge time-suck for him and a lot of work – so kudos, man, for doing right by the neighbor and working your butt off yesterday.

Me: Been busi-lax. I have a huge work project launching soon, so I have been up to my eyeballs in that. Plus carting the girls to their various activities. Remember when I said I sprained my ankle? Well, because of that little injury and a genetic disposition for tight calves, I have to have surgery to fix my Achilles tendonitis next month. I will be booted 24/7 for the first two weeks after and then just at night for another six weeks. I hope this fixes it. I am tired of limping around like a hobbling victim in a Stephen King novel. (I seriously just shivered as I recalled that scene from Misery.)

 And just to cover my butt in case I get busi-lax again, this is what we have coming up:

  •  The Hubster and Kid head to NoDak for duck hunting. So the Baby and I will have an easy weekend at home with just the two of us.
  • Halloween is coming. The Baby wanted to be a blue bunny, so the Kid decided it would be funny to be a sparkly carrot. So Faux Gramma made them fantastic costumes, including a sparkly carrot costume for the Dog, too.
  • We are purposely skipping nap on Sunday to go to the orchard. The girls haven’t been sleeping during it on Sundays lately anyway, so we are going to take advantage of the gained time and going to pick some apples.
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Kids Quotes 2013 – that I can remember so far

For the first time, the Baby has more memorable quotes than the Kid. I might partly because we are finally able to understand her better and she is talking a lot more since her ear tubes were put in. Here are the fun quotes from both girls that I can remember for this year so far:

Baby: (mouth full of tortilla, chicken and cheese) I lub tacos.

Kid: You can’t get in a staring contest with a snake … cuz you’d lose.

Baby: (randomly and frequently for the last six months) Yant pet goat!

Baby: Poop in MY pants?
Me: NO! Poop goes in the potty!
Baby: Poop on floor?
Me: NO! Poop goes in the potty!
Baby: (Squatting) Poop right here?
Baby: Heeheehee! Poop goes in potty!

Me: Where does the tooth fairy put all those teeth?
Kid: She pushes then into her mouth. She’s like a shark!

Baby: I have baby gape. (grape)
Me: Just eat, please.
Baby: I eat my baby! (munch, munch, munch) I funny?

Kid: Hey munchkin!
Baby: (giggles) Kid say munchin’.
Kid: You’re a munchkin!
Baby: (giggles) Kid say munchin’ again!

Kid: Burp! I just burped mac and cheese. But I didn’t have mac and cheese.
Me: Ewww! That is gross.
Kid: It’s because I had hot dogs. It was a hot dog water burp.

Me: (every time we give Baby more than one piece of something to eat) Eat on at a time and chew, chew, chew!
Baby: (feeding the Dog pieces of broccoli from a pile in her hand) One a time, doggie! Chew, chew it.

Picking up the Baby early from daycare for a doctor’s appointment, I peek in the door window to see her smearing her hand in a puddle of ranch dressing on her snack plate and showing it to her friends.
Baby: Ranch on MY hand!
Friends: Giggle, giggle!
Me: What are you doing?
Baby: Ranch on my hand! I funny?

Kid: I’m glad you signed me up for swimming, but I would do dance if you signed me up for dance, but I already know how to dance, but I don’t know how to swim, and I really want to know how to swim, and since I already know how to dance, I don’t need to take dance, but I need to take swimming (… and on and on). (BTW – she has never taken dance lessons, she just thinks she knows how to dance.)

Baby’s favorite songs to sing:
A-B- CeeeeEEEEeee-Dee – in a sad off-key country-western cadence
Peeeeaaaaa-nut buuuuutttterrrr – She made that one up herself.
Diiiiinnnngggg-Doooooonnnnngggg! – As I sing Frere Jacque at bedtime.
Gooood Mooooorrrrning, my purple socks. – They sing the good morning song at daycare, but she is the one who thought to greet her socks.

Kid: Moooommmy! I had your favorite lunch today … meatball sub! (That is not my favorite, but she seems to think it is.)

Kid: I’m an EEEEVVVIIIILLLL guy! Eeeeevil!
Baby: EBIL!
Kid: Daddy, you’re evil!
Baby: EBIL!
Kid: Mommy, you’re evil!
Baby: EBIL!

Me: (opening door to Baby’s room to wake her up in the morning) Good morning, sweetie! It’s time to wake up.
Baby: (bleary-eyed, stands up in her crib) Go get donuts?
Me: Sorry, we have to go to daycare today.
Baby: No go daycare. Yant donuts.

Baby: (turning my face to meet hers with a pudgy hand on each of my cheeks) Yant go lake!
Me: Maybe this weekend.
Baby: Yant go lake, right now!

Baby: Yant cookie.
Me: No. We don’t eat cookies for breakfast.
Baby: Yant cookie, right now.
Me: Maybe after dinner tonight, if you both are good, we can have cookies. What should we have for dinner?
Baby: Cookies.

Kid: (singing in the shower) This is my shower song! This is how I get clean. I am taking a shower. I didn’t want to take a bath. But this is like a bath. But it’s a shower. I am getting so clean in my baaaaath … I mean shower!

Baby: Knock! Knock!
Me: Who’s there?
Baby: Ding dong!
Me: Ding dong, who?
Baby: (giggles) I funny?

Random moment in the grocery store checkout line
Baby: Mommy-ah! Mommy-ah! MOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYY!
Me: What sweetie?
Baby: Yant ride camel.

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My Peach

There are two seasons of the year that I love. Winter (so cold and crisp and you get to wear warm snuggly clothes) and peach season.

Mmm those peaches! Just look at this beauty.


First, I rubbed the peach on my lips. I love how the fuzz feels. Then I inhaled its peachy aroma in. It cleansed my brain and relaxed my soul. Then I ate it! Like a ravenous wolf, I tore into the flesh and ripped it away. It easily came away from the pit so I peeled it apart – piece by piece. Until all that was left was this:


Now I miss it. It was so pretty and I killed it. But my belly is happy … and there is another one in my fridge at home.

Watch your back, Peachy. I am coming for you.

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Mommy Baby!

My kids like to pretend to “take care” of mommy and daddy all the time. It usually involves us being fed some random combination of pretend food—like soup with eggplant and strawberries with celery juice on the side—or naptime being forced upon us. (Naptime play is our favorite … you get to lie on the floor and then one of the kids covers you with blankets, pretends to read you books and rubs your back. Not bad for paying attention to my kids.) This weekend was no different, until it took an ugly turn.

The Baby and I had been feeding her stuffed bear, BearBearBear Bear (nicknamed Booey), all kinds random food since he had been missing for about 16 hours and he was hungry. When he had finished the last of his broccoli juice, I laid back, excepting the Baby to crawl on me for some snuggles. Instead of coming for snuggles, the Baby tried to pick up both my ankles.

Confused at this turn of events, I asked what she was doing. She moves my feet so that I am lying on my back with my knees bent. And all she says is “Move Mommia’s toes.” Okay, I can go along with this.

Until … She picks up a small cloth jewelry bag and puts it on her chubby little star hand like a glove.

Baby: Hee! Hee! I have glub!
Me: That’s nice.
Baby: Poopy?
Me: You have to go poopy? Let’s go potty! (I start to get up)
Baby: No. You poopy? (I lay back down)
Me: No, I don’t have to go poopy.
Baby: You poopy in diapah.
Me: Nooooo. Mommy doesn’t wear diapers.
Baby: (Holding up her hand with the “glove” on it) I wipe you.
Me: Nononononono. Mommy’s not poopy.
Baby: (Reaching under my leg and wiping the back of my knee) Wipe off mommy’s poop.
Me: Nononononono. I don’t like this.
Baby: Heeheeheehehehehehehehe! Mommy baby!

Needless to say, that’s when I got up.

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